So often, I see people on social media talking about their haters, saying things like: “Haters are gonna hate,” “Let them hate,” “This is for all my haters,” and I wonder who it is they are talking about. It seems as if they’re talking about people who they believe may be jealous of them and their progress or what they have. Perhaps they are talking about people who always find ways of discouraging them; or people who are never happy for them. My problem with this idea is that you’ll never really know who is jealous of you, and most of this stuff is probably what you’ve construed in your own mind to make sense of people’s indifference. The other fact of the matter is that despite how well you do, how kind you are, how much love you give, people will only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves. I think the reality is that firstly, nobody really cares, and secondly, what people think of you is their business. It is your business, however, to strive to be the best version of yourself, always. This often demands change; something we’re all uncomfortable with, but the one thing that is constant, that is inevitable.
My philosophy is this: if people celebrate you and your achievements, great! If they don’t, celebrate yourself, take yourself out for dinner, buy yourself a gift!
I believe that the real haters are the things we struggle with internally that stifle our growth; things that hinder us from moving forward; things that keep us trapped in who we were or where we are, and things that delay us and distract us from moving to the next level. We cannot control, let alone know what others think about us or how they perceive us. I don’t think it’s any of our business to begin with. What I do know is that the only people we can control are ourselves; our thoughts, our actions, and our reactions.
I have learned that the real enemies, the real haters are found in insecurity, shame, procrastination, an inferior complex, laziness, excuses, blame, and a lack of responsibility, to name a few.
Insecurity is the hater of confidence
Shame is the hater of trying again
Procrastination is the hater of progress
An inferior complex is the hater of boldness and courage
Laziness is the hater of discipline
Complacency is the hater of growth
Excuse and blame are the haters of responsibility
A lack of responsibility is the hater of repentance
I maintain that if we shift our focus to understanding who the real haters are, the more focused we become on reaching our goals and advancing to our next level. In Psalms 23:5, God says “I will prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemies”. I don’t think God meant that He would cause you to flourish so that those who are jealous of you will witness your success. Instead, I think He meant that He would cause you to rise and shine in the midst of your insecurities, despite your inferior complex, though your laziness, above your excuse and blame, and over and above every internal battle you’re fighting to get through the day. I am an advocate for the belief that the biggest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the one in your own mind, and that your worst enemy is found within. Once we are able to conquer the struggles inside us, we will soon realise that the struggles we face outside of us are a lot easier to handle.
So, the question I want to ask you today is: who are your REAL haters?
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